aren't you happy?

queasy queasy

2010-12-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

hello blog.

i only think of you whenever i feel emotional. like there's something stuck in between my heart and throat. hope you don't mind.

tml is a big day for a special friend. i want to give all my blessings to this special friend whom i don't see often but always appear at the right time. he's so far and yet so near. but after tml, he'll be so near and yet so far.

yes i'm feeling all queasy. queasy at the fact that things change and people move on with their life.

for now, i just want myself and time to stand still.

new set-top box

2010-07-27T04:10:00.000-07:00

I just called up Starhub for an additional set-top box. And it costs $12 PLUS a one-time charge of $20.

Me: WHAT? I don't understand. I already have two set-top boxes at home. Why do I still have to pay for another one-time fee?

Man: Oh it's for the installation service. It's just another one-time charge.

Me: It's ANOTHER one-time charge?!

Man: It's for the transport for the technician.

Me: NO! It's okay, I don't want it anymore. It doesn't make sense.

Man: Ok we will waive it for you. It's just $12 per month.

Must I raise my voice to get my way?

kindness

2010-04-25T02:00:00.000-07:00

Thou shalt not be mean

做好事，
存好心，
但不说好话，
也不能算是好人。

it's amazing

2010-03-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

It has been a while.

Sometimes the words were at the tip of my fingers, waiting for me to put it in black and white. But I'll still hold them back. I don't know, maybe I was still unsure of things that happened. It took me some thinking, mulling over to find an answer. And I think I did.

One day you wake up and you know. You just know.

It's amazing how human beings work. It's amazing how one day you are so sure of one thing and the next it is just a puff of smoke. And I guess that's the beauty of how complex human beings are.

The dream

2010-01-13T03:17:00.001-08:00

He led me up the stairs.

Every flight of stairs brought us to a room with someone inside who said hi.

It was a 3-floors house. And he was not a stranger.

We chatted and went up to the attic.

The room has 2 windows. He went out from one to open the doors of the other for me.

We stepped out of the window that leads to a huge expansive pasture.

There was a bench on the right of the grass patch.

Another woman was lying there. We walked towards her.

And sat down beside her. And talked.

It was so beautiful. So so beautiful.

And so strangely familiar.

I've come to this place before, haven't I?

Where's this place?

Changing oneself

2009-12-20T06:03:00.000-08:00

It's scary. Some feelings seem all too familiar.
Like things hasn't changed one bit.

Maybe it's time for another approach.
Maybe it's really all in the mind.
My mind.

It's time to stop being so stubborn.
At least for now.

shi ting thinks she should go to bed. NOW.

2009-10-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

I've been slping later and later and later. This is unhealthy. Not good not good.

And what the hell is the world coming to? What in the world is that?!!

What's wrong with u!!!!

The head says one thing. The heart says another.

I hate this blog post.

I really need to go to bed.

I said my first F-word

2009-10-17T00:45:00.000-07:00

Said from the bottom of my heart, lungs, gall bladder.
With conviction, certainty and considerable amounts of pent up frustration.
And it gives a therapeutic relief.

It has nothing to do with the way I drive.
It's the downright STUPID way the Cathay carpark was built.
That a driver has to go through a STUPID driving test everytime he's there.
Now the car has a great big dent and catfight-like scratches.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No, not the word.
"I HATE THE STUPID CATHAY CARPARK"

To Tekong

2009-10-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

The island was far more welcoming that I expected it to be. The smiley army boy guide, comfortable bus ride, short and sweet tour of Falcon block and a taste of what the boys would eat at the canteen.

It almost makes me want to experience army life.

I cld feel the pulsating excitement of the teenage boys waiting to turn into men. (altho i'm sure some never do) And I anticipate my little brother learning to drop his spoilt, rude, ill-disciplined ways. Sis and I were sniggering to ourselves, going "yes, yes" when he was told to tuck in his shirt even before reaching tekong, at the ferry terminal.

Don't be mistaken, he's one boy I'm terribly proud of for many reasons. He just need some good old discipline. I imagine him going thru the obstacle course, doing sit-ups with the medicine ball, sleeping with 15 other bunkmates, making his own bed (for the first time in his life).

The energy searing thru the (in)famous island was infectious. The stories waiting to be told. The sweat and stress. The cries of victory. Such a great place.

Stupid bro, be a good boy and stay safe.

the shoe philosophy

2009-09-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

the moment i set my eyes on the pair of shoes, i like it. and then i love it. but when i tried it, it's either too loose or too tight. but i'm neither size 6 or 7. i'm 6.5. shd i still get it?

who can fit into what i need?

there are some oddly decorative 'holes' here and there. a missing button somewhere. with extra velcro...

but den i like it even if it is not perfect. and i also decided to get it.

if u like it, then make do with the imperfections. make it look good on u.

now that the pair of shoes is back at some corner of my shoe shelf, i hope that it doesn't give me blisters when i finally wear it. bcos ultimately the most impt thing is whether it hurts my foot. no matter how good or bad it looks.

smile. and the world smiles with you.

2009-09-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

雨又在下了看外面又湿了
我一直等着让屋里灯都亮着
这样伤心地睡了这样压抑地醒了
想着你要来了可该变的都变了
而孤独是什么心冷是什么
情是什么你是什么
我不要再想了我已经倦了
我不想再唱了我已经哭了
想陪你坐着想听你说着
想知道我值得以为我们还爱着
把窗户都开着风也是凉的
我一个人唱歌声音也变成冷的

cry. and you cry alone.

it happens for a reason

2009-09-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

A student asksed his teacher how to fight fear.

The teacher replied, 'to serve others'. The student was baffled and surprised.

'Why?' he asked.

'That's because human beings can't have two sets of opposing feelings at one time.'

'Once you start helping someone selflessly, you chase the sense of fear in your heart out. When you make others happy, you become happy yourself.'

**PR, thanks for helping me help others :)

listen

2009-09-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

i put on my earplugs and prepare myself for gym. the moment i stick the plugs on, the silence of the gym became even more apparent. except now i can hear something else too.

my heartbeat.

cut off all the clutter and listen.

an idiom

2009-08-29T23:28:00.000-07:00

冰冻三尺非一日之寒

2 cent's worth

2009-08-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

the dreamy philosopher: "just remember that no matter how sad you are today, the sadness doesnt last, the confusion doesnt last"

the disbeliver in marriage: "u can live without him"

the ambitious career-driven: "don't let anyone hold u back. things change. men change. you change."

the girl with the bf: "if it just doesn't work out, then let go. you're not young anymore."

the getting married: "he's the right one, if not why did he come along?"

the married: "don't be deceived by appearances"

the dating bunch: "love yrself, it's time to start dating!"

all of them: "what? not again..."

To my dear friends and family, thanks for keeping me company this past week. And I promise I will be strong.

In the meantime, who's on for another round of drinks? :)

mom fell today

2009-08-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

And i conclude she's the most adorable woman ever.

damn cute la! The way she laughed till her whole face was scrunched up at the incident, the way she said 'luckily no one saw, oh but then one man asked 'are you okay?', the way she say 'i'm okay la, but i just realised i got a big bruise.'

Then dad says mom fell down all the time when they were dating. Down the stairs la. Into the drain la. And worse still, she dragged him down. Kaos just imagining the image of that is so goddamn funnnnny!

haiyo so cute. :)

I want to be like my mom when i grow up.

5 minutes away

2009-08-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

Talking to John and Justin makes me realise how much I miss my childhood play spot. The place I used to spend every holiday, every weekend, every time I want to have some good fun.

And at the same time, I realise how much I've miss out on this place. I've moved on to more 'important' things. But the boys still hang out at the place. The place that has become an inseparable part of their lives. But I think they have moved on too. They are different. But it still gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Some things never change". It gives me goosebumps of nostalgia, how some mannerisms, some words, some actions are eerily the same.

It's nice.

And when they say that they are there for each other - It's just a 5 minutes walk away, I laughed at how gay it sounds. But deep down, I am envious of such a friendship.

At the end of the day, my long time buddy said, "I'm also just 5 minutes away if you give me a call."

He probably has no idea how grateful and blessed I felt.

Almost here

2009-08-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

the horrors!

2009-07-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

4:48am
woke up with a start
and a pain
undying, unrelenting
took a sip of water
swallow a painkiller
wait for it to subside...
check the opening hours
closed on sundays and public holidays!!!
who set the rule that u don't work on sundays!
the earth still spins, the clock still ticks
and my toothache is killing me
conclusion from an unmarried woman
this is the worst pain. ever.

ready to fall in love tonight?

2009-06-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have a chance to talk to the king of love ballads, Air Supply who has been around for more than 30 years. The interview went okay but boy was I glad I got the chance to talk to this two all-time amazing singers.

"Making love....out of nothing at all...."

I went for their concert as well. And I was standing right in front of the stage where the videocamera is. Since I was very near, the duo can see me clearly from where I was standing. And they made eye-contact and winked and give me a gentle warning look when I stood with my hands crossed and gestured to me to clap along.

I felt as if they were serenating to me. In front of thousands of their die-hard fans. Truly, there was a hell of a kick.

I can only say, "I love mua job."

p.s. stop crying, for good.

get wasted

2009-05-30T22:25:00.000-07:00

Never expect my 24th birthday to be one of the most memorable birthdays I've ever celebrated.

It was a blast.

The effects were so strong I was knocked out. Literally. Eh, and I never thought I'll ever let myself be drunk like 'the rest'. This time round I finally succumbed, without really knowing how it happened. But definitely this is the LAST TIME!! no way am I going to let any puke come out from my mouth again. yucks. And I feel so bad for the cleaners. Not the manager.

It's a good experience tho'. No reservations. Say everything you think, do whatever you like. Dance like no one's watching. It's great to be young!! Yes, I'm still young.

And thanks to all who were there with me. From the bottom of my young wasted heart.

photo blog

2009-05-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

check out my photoblog @ http://keeping-awake.blogspot.com/

yea it's like an extension of -stayingawake-. i'll be more creative when i've mastered the art of staying awake 24hours.

yawn.

Brida

2009-04-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

"Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong, my dear," said her father, looking at the clock. "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

Paulo Coelho

introducing...

2009-04-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

My bak-bak sister in Shanghai.
My new EOS 450D babbbbyyyy.

And all of the above are going to meet at one place in another 3 days!

kindness

2009-04-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

I have a kind friend.
Sometimes I want to shake her small frame
For protecting others
While leaving her heart out in the wild.

I have a too-kind friend.

'long live life'

2009-03-23T23:02:00.000-07:00

The concert hits a high right at the beginning when Coldplay throws out their all-time fave songs 'Yellow' and 'Trouble' to a crowd of 12,000. Everyone were on their feet the moment they appear on stage.

Even though the concert started at 9:15pm, it was well worth the wait. I haven't attended a concert where nice comfy seats are available but no one wants to just plong themselves there. For the two hours show, most were dancing to the beats or tapping their feet or jumping on the spot. Chris Martin had to tell the crowd to rest and sit down for 3 minutes.

Why I admire Coldplay so much, other than their beautifully crafted sounds, is their passion and how serious they are towards their music. It's the perfect combination of talent and diligence.

The night was filled with many highs as the rock boys get close and personal with the Asian crowd. At one time, they abandoned the center stage and took on a platform in the midst of the audience. That was a bonus. There were no fancy sets and elaborate costumes. But the simplicity of lights and images put together created the best effects.

All I can say is I finally get the chance to see my favourite rock band after waiting for so many years and it is well worth the $200 ticket.

Viva La Vida!

managing disappointments

2009-02-15T06:29:00.000-08:00

I hate dark carrot cakes
I hate my long hair
I hate being hungry
I hate Vday
I hate surprises
I hate to wake up early even when I slpt late
I hate to be stuck in Singapore
I hate to have to manage disappointments.

OH MY GOD!

2009-02-12T19:27:00.000-08:00

COLDPLAY is stoming its way to Singapore on 23March!!!

Watch Coldplay and Chris Martin on UK's 60 Minutes here.

http://www.coldplay.com/newsdetail.php?id=308&page=0

OH MY GOD!!!

happiness = health

2009-02-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

I've always prided myself for having a strong immunity system that probably stems from a happy mind.

The past week has proved me right spot on.

Cos Shi Ting went thru a rough rocky bumpy patch @work... and her health has since gone down downhill....

Down with a swollen eye, aching neck and back and worse still... diarrhoa... and lagi worse still bad sleep...

So many things happened over just one week it feels like I've become OLDer by another year. Well, in actual fact I have, since we just crossed the new year. And that means I officially is now 犯太岁ing... at first i chose not to be too superstitious. but now.... whatever... i better believe it. Mom just warn me this afternoon that I shd be careful with what I say this year cos I 犯太岁 and will probably offend many people. And so she's getting me to go pray 太岁 one of these days... ar well well...

well....It's not like I havent been thru rough patches. I swear I'll come out stronger and wiser. And I swear I'll learn to love PR and one day learn how to PR too. That's my chinese new year resolution.

the yr ahead

2009-01-21T07:57:00.001-08:00

everytime someone goes "the year ahead is going to be a challenging one" or "the worst is yet to come", my goosebumps will spring up so much i feel like i'm jumping out of my skin.

and imagine how many times i experience that in a day.

the look of super confidence that it will be a tough year from colleagues to news makers to economists to journalists and the stock market..........

but i really really hope that we'll weather this recession faster than expected. and that the worst will not be as bad as predicted. I can't stand the amount of despair and depression that comes from retrenchment and people barely making ends meet...

and also! i hate to think that every other day we'll be producing news after news of sadness.... sigh. the happy heartlander is not gg to be happy go lucky everyday if that's really the case. i'll feel guilty to be happy.....

ar well.... tml's program is on the budget!! more talks of recession........

managing expectations

2008-12-24T21:35:00.000-08:00

dun hope others will change
change yrself first

it's much easier.

Transgenders among us

2008-12-12T21:16:00.001-08:00

The story is finally up on razor.

It has been up down left and right as I think about the process of chasing the story. And to think I might not have the opportunity to do this and go to BKK if my lovely neighbour had not push me to go further to fight for what I want.

Once again, I was really lucky to be able to find people to talk to me here as well as in bangkok. phew~~ thank my lucky stars. I just hoped how I pieced the story does justice to them.... It could have been done better I suppose but after dragging the story for so many weeks, I become a little leng bek with the editing already. Boooo....

Well, asiaone talked to me about my experience doing the story and here it is! http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne+News/Singapore/Story/A1Story20081211-107110.html

And do check out the videos on RazorTV. Here are the links:
http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/news/16192.html
http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/news/16202.html

and in Bangkok:
http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/news/16196.html

After the story goes on-air, my energy level kinda plummets. Hah... oh dear I better get my act up!! Next stories coming up are on Andy Lau and Aska Yang Zhong Wei. Yep...I'm in the entertainment team this month. ROARRR that means more late nights and weekends BURNT.

eleven minutes

2008-12-08T02:15:00.000-08:00

I desperately need to rave about eleven minutes by Paulo Coelho. Btw, (spoiler) 11minutes is the average time people take to have sexual intercourse.

Coelho is indeed one of the most inspiring and groundbreaking authors of our time. Never afraid of being controversial and bold in his ideas and words. It makes me embarassed reading his stuff and yet his words and plot are so captivating I go on and on and on....

It's all about the orgasm and finding pleasure in pain.

And yet it's all about Love for the sake of Love.

At the end of it, I'm so glad and touched Maria the prostitute found Love for Love itself.

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

~Ecclesiastes 3:2

So so beautiful.

国境之南

2008-12-06T18:42:00.000-08:00

如果海會說話　如果風愛上砂

如果　有些想念遺忘在漫長的長假

我會聆聽浪花　讓風吹過頭髮

任記憶裡的愛情在時間潮汐裡喧嘩

非得等春天遠了夏天才近了

我是在回首時終於懂得（也許天氣永遠會那麼熱）

當陽光再次回到那　飄著雨的國境之南

我會試著把那一年的故事　再接下去說完

當陽光再次離開那　太晴朗的國境之南

妳會不會把妳曾帶走的愛　在告別前用微笑全歸還

海很藍　星光燦爛　我仍空著我的臂彎

天很寬　在我獨自唱歌的夜晚

請原諒我的愛　訴說的太緩慢

Finally a good good romance story. Kudos Cape No. 7

on coffee and mom

2008-11-15T20:52:00.000-08:00

我：为什么我冲的咖啡不好喝的？

妈：因为没有妈妈的味道。

~goosebumps~

Hit 2

2008-11-15T09:59:00.001-08:00

Health.Peace.Happiness just hit Alaska, Anchorage!

~ dreaming of Kosovo and the snow

6 more days

mickey's hand, many candies plus hellava uncle-fun

2008-10-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ever frown in disapproval or wonder what is the appeal of the candy cum soft toy game machine right smack in front of the games arcade where people from the teens to the retired spend hours on end sitting in front slotting coins into?

I got a taste of it today. And boy was it HIGH, shioks and adrenaline-pumping! And to beat that, vanessa and I won ourselves a mickey's hand and a hugeee bag of candy which she kindly let me have to help me thru' tricky work life.

Well, anyway our experience was enhanced when we had two uncles as game advisors. One of them kept going "1..2..3..." before we hit the button whilst another innocent looking uncle keeps subtly banging on the machine to make sweets spring out from nowhere. It was just soooo funny. I bet they can make a late career out of this machine. Some intolerably hilarious comments from them:

"The Tim Tam with red packaging is more delicious. This one here is chocolate one."
"If we never help you, you girls will need to spend $60 on this."
"Aiya, it's not so fast to get a jackpot one la." Straight after he say that, we hit the jackpot making the onlookers shout along with us.

And there are more, which I can't remember. It's just hilarious! We really wonder how long they have been at this....

Our jackpot items:

Now I can whack 坏人.

And when the going gets tough, the tough gets sweetened. Plus more trips to the dentist.

Bringing you to places

2008-10-12T17:47:00.000-07:00

Last sat, there was a mini get-together with the FYP mates (minus the audio man who is perpetually busy) and the Hospice peeps at HCA. It was the World Hospice and Palliative Care Week and Doverpark organised a whole session of the screening of Health.Peace.Happiness and a Q&A with the filmmakers. Gees...were we flattered. The response was overwhelming. And it was like a night of appreciation as healthcare professionals all over the world 'woo' and 'arhh' over the film. And many of them want to bring this film back to their country to show it to their colleagues.

And more importantly, during the Q&A, we took a ride on the memory lane and go back to how everything started and the journey that we took. And how we all mature along the way. It was also a good time for reflection. Of thinking back and feeling the pains, laughter, tears, the overcoming of obstacles, the interaction with our friends who have gone to a better place.

Cilia dropped me a msg after the session. Which baffled me big time. After going 'huh?!', she replied and say 'fwded u a msg u sent me last year when we were doing our fyp. Just thought how true it was when u said things will turn out fine in the end'.

:)

Now, I'm trying not to procrastinate and get going with the application for a grant to Kosovo.

Health. Peace. Happiness........ :)

Built to last, definitely.

2008-09-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.
~Melee

simple things

2008-09-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

every morning i savour the coffee (more so if mama makes it)
and flip the papers.
one section that i don't miss when i haf a bit more time
is the horoscope and the comics section.
it never fails to bring a little smile on my face.
bizarro, baby blues, get fuzzy.

this morning i had the luxury of sipping great mama-brewed coffee
and waking up at 10am.
then i flipped to the horoscopes hoping for some insightful hints into my life.
"you receive confusing directions at work or a home project
and clarity might take too long to arrive.
this may be a time for you to close your eyes
and trust the universe."

Yes i know...take horoscopes with a pinch of salt.
but 'close yr eyes and trust the universe'
actually did perk me up very much today.

Talk abt the simple things in life... :)

count yr blessings

2008-09-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

All the flashes of memory from today keeps me wide awake at 1:22am. That means I have less than 8 hours of sleep left. darn...Too much activities in one day is making me feel really tired and yet the same time wide awake. And slping on the floor for the 3rd nite is not helping matters. Sigh~ All the questions of how to shape the story, what shd i do tml to make up for the shoots i didn't take today and many many other qns and images keeps playing pause rewind play in my mind. Rah...

And matters from home are not sparing shi ting's little mind too. Thanks for the muscular arm pulling me up and giving me a hand. Oh and reminding me to take a breath and relaxxxxx. ;)

And before i forgot why I put 'count yr blessings' as the title. After having close contact with pple who fall off the fringes of society and losing control of oneself, i, all the more, feel like life is so frigging unpredictable and in a snap of the finger, everything could crumble. To the point of inrecognition. To the point of incoherence. To the point of utter insanity inducing fear.

No matter what i have to go thru or whoever has to go thru in life everyday. No matter how much injustice or suffering or unhappiness one has to go thru day in day out. Still, feel blessed that u are what u are now and what u have now. Treasure it. Cos' u never know how very bad it can get the next minute.

1:38am shi ting will probably have to survive on 2 cuppas tml instead of the usual 1.

oh crap!

2008-08-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

my $200 flower class is going down the drain. I was there for only 3 classes. hah gees... really cant find time to go, and also too tired(read: lazy) during the weeknds.

oh btw, I said 'crap!' on tv. luckily it's webtv.. and it's not exactly vulgarity. or else might haf to do a J. Seah apology.

Well, work has been...erm...un-bloggable cos there's too many ups and downs. But in a nutshell, it has been really exciting. Some colleagues make good friends, others make great fun. It's great bitching with them and sipping on white wine and glurping beer every now and then in the office. hah...

oh well crap...i hope there wun be too many Bhumibol Adulyadejsssss in tomorrow's read! rah.

every single day

2008-08-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

lies a new excitement, a new challenge.

I can never NEVER expect what is going to happen.
Which really keeps me on my toes.
And my mind spinning at top speed.
And keeps good pumping heart circulation.

And at the same time,
the aching backs,
the criticisms,
the smudge makeup,
the growling rumbling stomach....

ARGH.... talk about love-hate relationship ;)

once in a blue moon...

2008-08-09T21:26:00.001-07:00

a film comes along and makes you sit up.

Mad About English reminds me why I love documentaries. It's putting the real and raw together to send a messsage straight to the head. The director, and mind you she's from sunny Singapore, probably took years to conceptualise and follow the subjects in their everyday life to see how learning english in China has changed them. Some for the better, others for the best.

And if you haven't feel the earth shattering vibes from the opening ceremony of the beijing olympics, the film drives home the point: the West will take a backseat cos' China is going to take the world by storm.
Go watch it, it's goooood stuff!

when you got to do it, you got to do it

2008-08-01T19:03:00.001-07:00

i finished shooting my first piece of work yesterday.
boy was it draining.
well poh kwan gave good advice:
when you got to do it, you just got to do it.

so pple, if u got nothing better to do,
check out www.razor.tv on 8/8/08 Friday
for some "you just got to do it" stuff

spirit of randomness

2008-07-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

There is this certain episode of Mr Bean.
He was trying to go down the staircase
But there is an elderly lady in front of him
Walking really slowly and the staircase is too narrow for him to pass
So Bean tried all ways and means to get pass
And in the end climb off the railing to overtake her.

Only to find yet another elderly man in front of him.

I understand how Bean felt just now when I went to buy dinner.

it turns out that...

2008-07-17T03:57:00.000-07:00

i wun be zuo bo-ing for long.

by a stroke of luck, plus a lot of praying and probably prayers from people, i got a job at the place i want to work in. it might not actually be the job i absolutely love to do. but i'm more than glad that i may have a chance to dabble in visuals in future. and of cos glad tat i'm gg to haf a steady income to combat the big tuition loans. heh too bad the girl in US don't have the chance to accompany the nervous wreck for my next interview. but i'm sure she's very very glad i got the job. hopefully i got tons of good news to share wif u when u're back. :)

absolutely looking forward to a whole new chapter in my life. *rubs palm*

2008-07-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

a certain multi millionaire in spore says:

"you are successful only if you love what you do,
and not do what you love."

(and i think he meant) "if i did wat i love,
i'd be a busker now"

I wonder how true that is.
And what he defines being 'successful' as.
And in reality, are the 2 mutually exclusive......?

it's sunday

2008-07-13T05:42:00.000-07:00

i'd love to mark today as a blogable day. it's the first day i did not step out of my house at all, since the last day of the exams. yea it's amazing how much running ard i've done. (despite being swinging jobless.........) well i din do much today. other than helping mama cut up some asparagus and putting the toufu into the soup. and brainstorming wif sis how to spend her 21st bday. and getting frowned at by dad watching me feed fifi on facebook. prob gg to watch 'the kite runner' after this entry. been looking for this movie for the longest time. and so glad i found it at some dvd store in vietnam.

speaking abt vietnam. i miss the place. travelling is my first love. and gg with my second love makes the trip even better. heh. ;)

maybe from today onwards i'll haf many of such zuo-bo days at home......

at long last

2008-07-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

dad fulfilled his dreams of wearing 方帽

oh well sigh~ graduating with a good degree doesn't mean much.

where's my blardy job!?

oh dear....maybe i shd just go be a florist.

The Final Analysis

2008-06-26T05:33:00.000-07:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the FINAL analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway

something i picked up at some backpacker's cafe in Cameron. Nice.

the pig family

2008-06-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

(From left to right: 猪头，猪肉，猪脚)

heh... 猪头looooks soooo ugly!!!

baby sis and me gg to penang cum cameron highlands tml nite! wish us a safe trip! :)

说了等于不说

2008-06-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

说了
你又不听,
听又不懂,
懂又不做,
做又做错,
错又不认,
认又不改,
改又不服,
不服也不说。

tio tio getaway

2008-05-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

gg to tioman with peng and fang for some major big-time serious sun sand and sea.

come back then worry/get depressed/hit myself/kill myself.

over the fact that PY who sent the resume to Mediacorp at the same time as me has gotten herself an interview and I have no news at all.

no news is bad news. esp when we are on the topic of news here.

rah.

on an ENTIRELY separate note, the instructions for usage of tampons is quite funny. (eg. Step 2: Relax)

i gotta take a pic of it.

whatever. bah.

wah cool

2008-05-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

itching

2008-05-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

for adventures.

this sat nite fang, peng, zhao & ting are going on a nite cycling trip.

armed with a map that doesn't say much.

and a very adventurous spirit.

and a couple of bicycle-falling experiences.

i'm ready for a good ride.

roar.

when the child gets the most

2008-05-11T03:24:00.001-07:00

goodness - when the marriage is a teamwork, a partnership, a union.

badness - when the marriage is on the rocks.

when they stay apart.

when the heart is unwilling.

when the faces change whenever they meet.

when attempts fail, repeatedly.

when the child gets the most hurt.

2 special calls and an email

2008-05-07T22:24:00.001-07:00

1030am

The girl from Ohio USA called to 报平安.

12 hours away
Day and night away
12,3567 miles away (est.)

but hearts not separated.

230pm

The lady from Doverpark Hospice called.

She loved Health. Peace. Happiness. and thought we did a brilliant job. She is using our video during a Caregiver's conference/symposium to explain about the nursing job and what the patients go through.

Full of excitement and praise and heartfelt gratitude.

330pm

The Peranakan lady in-charge of Doverpark dropped an email.

She loved the film too! And wants to make a compulsory viewing for all her staff. She is to be remembered as the woman who snapped at me and screamed over the phone before our project starts. My experience with her can be summarised in one word: ugly. But she was equally excited and impressed with our documentary.

I am so glad. Even though stuck in the freezing cold boring office, I still get sudden bouts of excitement throughout the day.

bon voyage my friends

2008-05-05T09:25:00.001-07:00

May thoughts of home keep you warm....

at least till summer comes. heh :)

health. peace. happiness

2008-04-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

on another wednesday

2008-04-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

no early 6am alarms

no rushing for the bus

no squeezing with the morning crowds

no outrageously difficult kids

no innocent out of the world questions

no “吴老师早安！”

no monkeying around

no attempts to stifle my laughter at the monkeys

no yummy mee rebus with spicy crabsticks. heh.

miss you guys

in house entertainment

2008-04-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

at the workplace

Coldplay's new song for free download at www.coldplay.com

It's very niceeeee.... Coldplay retains their mastery. Hail the masters!

Violet Hill Lyrics

final wrap-up

2008-04-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

come come everybody

fyp oral defense day

2008-04-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

Good food. Good company. School = fun = don't want to graduate!

Glad it's nicely done and over. It was many ups and downs. With squabbles here and there. But I can say it's a great group and I enjoyed and learn tremendously. Hopefully our friendship extends beyond project work.

Team Helmi had many good fun in Laos.

vannie baby never fail to make my day.

the lamp

2008-04-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

the first lamp in the hall toilet has been spoilt for a few days already.

it was fixed practically every other day.

and it will shine ever too brightly.

then by the day ends, it flickers and goes off again.

sometimes, there are somethings that can never be fixed.

you just turn a blind eye to it.

and wish that the other lamps don't fail you too.

doing that thing you do

2008-04-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

i raise my eyebrow.

erm ok.... am i trying too hard to be just me? did i not give much thought to being a me that people will appreciate more?

okie... i think i'm confused. i need some self help books.

what is me doing what thing i do?

moving back home soon.... a place where there is a higher level of acceptance.

priceless

2008-04-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

I was pretty sure today is going to be a bad day after getting up one hour late and have to pay $13.50 cab fare to go to the Mandarin class for the NT Malay kids.

But my fave sec 1 class was obedient(my definition of obedient is obviously far from the same as the dictionary's) as usual and my attempt at adding some excitement by splitting the class into 2 and having a little game worked out pretty well. And phew, I was lucky I had enough cookies (from last nite's exam welfare goodie bag heh.) to go around.

The sec 2 class was as usual dreaded. But it turned out really fun today. A certain Mr Thomas sat in the class and boy he commands so much respect I've never seen my class turned so mommy's boys and daddy's girls before. It was cute to have him around and suddenly it seems like some respect is transferred to me as well. 拿着鸡毛当令箭。haha... He went off after half hour and the class regained back its past defiance. rah. But well then I introduced the same game to the sec 2 class not expecting much attention. And it turned out good too. The whole class was engaged and all fighting to answer questions. Gees... it was so fun. At the end of the class, one girl says "老师我爱你" in perfect pronounciation. :) Oh and phew, luckily I had enough cookies to go around this time too.

I'm glad I didn't give up on this class.

Up early...again

2008-03-10T19:41:00.001-07:00

Good morning Cuppuccino, You make my day.

Exactly 2 weeks to FYP deadline.
Many things still needs to be ticked off the to-do list but
Finally things are clearing up one by one.

:)

while i should be mugging

2008-03-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

out in marina sq
laksaing ice cream (window)shopping movie
shoving teasing laughing
irritating the hell out of each other

thanks for bringing me out
while i shd be doing work
taking me away from the books notes reports
away from the many pressures
at least momentarily
which is nice enough

thanks.

those days those times

2008-03-06T06:51:00.001-08:00

Was snooping around online. Really has zero motivation to do work.

Then, suddenly I came across the blog that Ziwei and I had in Vermont. Haha... it was quite good reminiscene.

http://ibe-live.blogspot.com/

Boy, I miss those carefree-get-fat-nobody-cares days.

so tired. so sleepy.

shi ting really needs to get out of here.

cold hard cash

2008-03-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

I WILL NOT be trapped by you.

You %$#^%&$%^%#^$% kuku crap.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you
Weep and you weep alone"
-Old Boy

other songs lift you up

2008-03-02T07:08:00.000-08:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Put Your Records On, Corrine Bailey Rae

tickling time increasing load

2008-03-02T04:54:00.000-08:00

as the time draws nearer
adrenaline shoots higher
fatigue grows larger
head becomes bigger
mondays turn bluer
energy level wavers

roar... stay strong and cucumber-like...

another sad love song?

2008-02-20T01:47:00.001-08:00

some songs touch you so much
it makes you tear

some voice reach you so much
it gives your heart goosebumps

I love a good song. a song that tickles and teases your inner soul. a song that makes you feel.

peiyu says she'd rather be in pain than not being. I wonder how much I want that.

But I'm pretty sure I want to feel. To feel alive.

what do you miss?

2008-02-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

我懷念的是無話不說
我懷念的是一起作夢
我懷念的是爭吵以後還是想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空最緊的右手最暖的胸口
誰忘了

我懷念的是無言感動
我懷念的是絕對熾熱
我懷念的是你很激動求我原諒抱得我都痛
我記得你在背後也記得我顫抖著
記得感覺洶湧最美的煙火最長的相擁

誰愛得太自由誰過頭太遠了
誰要走我的心誰忘了那就是承諾
誰自顧自地走誰忘了看著我
誰讓愛變沉重誰忘了要給你溫柔

我懷念的
我還有想要愛你的衝動

random ouch

2008-02-15T23:49:00.000-08:00

It's almost like rubbing salt, vinegar, chilli padi, crushed pepper to wound.

Less than 6 weeks to FYP dead(hang me)line.

Many many things to do. Many many things to think about.

Fly me away. Can't wait to go Germany. Am putting Spain aside for the moment.

Many many many many... too much.

on butterflies

2008-02-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

Compliments
Edward Monkton

First post of the new year

2008-02-06T18:41:00.000-08:00

May the new year bring many many many nice nice things for everyone! :)

I got a strong feeling this year is going to be a very very exciting year. After CNY, I'll be back for a very hectic semester dealing with FYP and 3 jobs. It's scary but I am ready for the challenge. Then, there is the much awaited graduation trip. I'm putting aside at least one month for some whacking big time travelling. Then, there is the new job. The new life that is going to stay for a long long time to come. Woot! The excitement and anticipation is boiling inside me. heh...

There's going to be many changes and I guess the best way to deal with it is to EMBRACE it. So let the new ratatouille year come with its many good things. Bring it on ratie...roar...

Shush...

2008-01-27T00:13:00.000-08:00

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about 'er 'cause, you see
Baby is an awful lot like me

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down
They left behind her dreams among the litter
The different kind of love she thought she'd found
There was nothin' left but sawdust and some glitter
But baby can't be broken 'cause you see
She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told 'er

fate's little advice

2008-01-07T19:28:00.000-08:00

分明。珍惜

Put it in your head.

In celebration

2007-12-29T16:06:00.000-08:00

To a woman of strength and inner beauty
A woman with charisma and frank
A woman with sensitivity
and always a thought for others before herself
And even though fighting the last battle
refuse to bend under the weight
and doesn't think the world revolves around her
A mother's love so strong it keeps her going
On and on for her children
The sparkle in her eyes
The brillance in the smile
brightens up the darkest of hearts.

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so

Rest In Peace

train outburst

2007-12-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

I was on the train yesterday and I witnessed a big quarrel between 2 groups of people. This auntie obasang(with her old mother) and a wannbe punk beng(with his middle aged mother). Apparently the ah beng got on the nerves of the auntie before they board at the Jurong East interchange. Then they started shouting at each other big time. Vulgarities, insults, 'shut-ups', 'singapore law(??!!)'... other than really boxing each other, you name it they have it. They practically shout across the cabin, attracting looks of amusement and disgust from everyone. Then the people with them started shouting at each other too. The old mother even got up from her seat and walked threateningly towards her enemy. The commotion died down only after a really long awkward time when they finally went out of breath.

I was seated right where the action is so I got front row seats view of the whole drama. Boy, who says Singaporeans are meek and passive. These people are garang, heck care about the looks they are attracting. They just whack lor. Big time. Honestly, it was a big enjoyment for me to witness the outburst. It was so funny to look at. Ok I'm not gloating over people's misery but really everyone needs a little cute drama in our mundane (read:yawn) life. And I guess in comparison for many of us who choose to swallow our unhappiness and irritation to ourselves, at least the outburst achieve a cathartic effect of purging all their bad feelings.

Going off to Bintan for a short getaway from tomorrow. Phew...badly need a break. :)till then good luck for the IH games!

stay important

2007-12-16T05:34:00.000-08:00

all this time you people have been an impt part of my life.
and i'm a blessed girl because of the many love that was showered on me.
but i can't say i've done the same to you.

as the end of the year approaches and i look back.
i wanna say sorry to you guys. to you who love me unconditionally.
and yet i haven't done enough back.

friends.stay impt.

drink coffee to sleep

2007-11-19T03:42:00.000-08:00

conquering the last major exams

Sushi Go Round

Serve all the customers in the Sushi Restaurant

Play this free game now!!

therapeutic

sudden crave for sushi

The Intricate Balance

2007-11-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

The Rose

2007-11-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
And endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

Bette Midler

rollercoaster weekend

2007-10-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

To say it's eventful will not be doing justice to the weekend that just passed. It's bordering hysteria. Now I'm still feeling the burning aching sensation on my back and neck and butt and feet and mind. I want to take MC! But it has been fulfilling nonetheless. Other than the aches, we also got a 2nd place in basketball streetchallenge and a wrap for final project. Sounds simple but it's nothing close. This really tested my brain power and stretch my physical limit and... also the endurance level for people closest to me.

And so.... I wanna say sorry to my bestest buddy for putting you thru so much crap for the day and thanks for the wonderful game and also for helping out during the shoot.

I also wanna say sorry to my bestest hubby for having to put up with my unreasonable and messy ways and for making you wait time and again.

sign off,
blessed girl :)

Simple bliss

2007-10-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all the anxiety, stress, frustrations,
there is still simple bliss.

Being conscious

2007-10-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

“Every morning upon waking, I tried my hardest to be in the present moment. Just to appreciate what was around me, that very second. Because if I were in the present moment, I would not be so aware of time – time of the day, time required to complete my remaining goals, time of year, time I had left. If I were in the present moment, I would be aware only of the experience I ws having, not of how this might be the last time I would experience this, ever. If I were in the present moment, context and history wouldn’t be the issue. The experience itself would.

I tried to be conscious of what was around me, really conscious, exclusively conscious.

I failed.”

Chasing Daylight, Eugene O'Kelly

if i ain't got you

2007-10-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things define what’s within
And I been there before but that life’s a bore, so full of the superficial

Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby, if I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything
But everything means nothing if I ain't got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
The promise is forever young
(You know) Some people need three dozen roses
And that’s the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no-one to share with, no-one who truly cares for me

That Story

2007-10-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hello I'm back from lazy laos. Find updates on the official gofar blog.
http://gofar2007.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/that-story/

cramped sunday evening

2007-09-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

sometimes it does seem like the house is too small for all of us.

sometimes it does seem like we all love the house because it's small.

tangled up

2007-09-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide

sunday international relations

2007-09-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

cousin who only speaks thai

praying mantis from martian land

strolling in jurong point

2007-08-30T05:28:00.001-07:00

It's not the place.

It's not the activity.

It's the company.

combat ant invasion

2007-08-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

cruelty to animals set in when it's enough is enough of readings

on repeat mode

2007-08-25T00:59:00.000-07:00

in the light of the sun, is there anyone? oh it has begun...
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed...you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care, she said.
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts
across an open field,
when flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry
when they see you
you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

she said i think i'll go to boston...
i think i'll start a new life,
i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
i'll get out of california, i'm tired of the weather,
i think i'll get a lover and fly em out to spain...
i think i'll go to boston,
i think that i'm just tired
i think i need a new tow, to leave this all behind...
i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset,
i hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice...
boston...where no one knows my name...

boston anyone?

a note to a special someone

2007-08-19T01:20:00.000-07:00

I know we are constantly arguing over the slightest things and sometimes it seems like it will go on forever. But I am still very glad that I am sharing my life with you. Thanks for putting up with me and still wanting me to have the best of everything. I just want you to know I appreciate every moment spend with you.

I'm thankful for having you. The amazing you.

spirit of 333

2007-08-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

It was fun coming back to hall, reliving all the laughter, jokes, gossips, sharing of food and concern for each other. It's like coming back home to a place I'm too familiar with. And it's funny I actually feel excited, like a freshie. Maybe staying away from 'home' too long has make me love coming back more. haha... Distance makes the heart grow fonder. oh! and baby sister is in hall too! That makes going back hall even more like going home. *wink* Nice. I'm looking forward to the last year here.

brief respite

2007-08-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

lost in the beauty of the sunset